Struggling with Anxiety: the Beginning

Part of the revamp of this site has led me to have to go through old posts. It's essentially been a map of what led to my breakdown & near suicide. This was the first post where I can start seeing it happening - I was beggining to be lost in the anxiety, but couldn't understand what that really was. I've chosen to leave this post up in hopes that if you read this & feel it describes you, you are able to bring awareness to that & possibly seek out some help.

I know it's been radio silence around here for the last month or so, and I apologize. To be honest, I'm struggling with feeling completely lost. That kind of lost where you feel like you're stuck under water, can't catch your breath, or even remember what the point of it all is. My year has been full of highs and lows, but the lows have been remarkably brutal and feel like I've lost touch with myself. I cannot seem so come out of the fog, so to speak. I'm going back to starting with the basics. Trying to find that inspiration; that push to make me want to find the joy in life again. Redefining what my values, hopes, goals, and needs are. Reframing my perspective. Re-establishing my core self. Because losing yourself is the most devastating and confusing place to be in this life.

I'm not promising I'm going to be posting regularly. One of the things that makes me feel most connected with myself is writing, but I'm struggling to make sense of my thoughts most days. I'm hoping to get back into it slowly. Maybe share a collection of what I'm turning to for inspiration, some self-care tricks that I find helpful, or some musings on life. We've recently change our apartment decor and I'm looking forward to doing some before  and afters on here. And of course, there is our trip to the UK and some of Isaac's beautiful photography I'm excited to share.

I look forward to finding myself in this space again, and hopefully something on here might help someone who feels like they're struggling too.