Why Do We Need a New Piece for Every Event?
I used to always need something new for different events. Going to a wedding, a dinner, or a work event, if I felt self conscious the easiest thing to do would be to get something new I felt good in. But the issue was never my wardrobe, it was how I felt about myself. The clearest time I can think of this was the last family wedding with Isaac's family. I hunted obsessively for a dress that would work for it. Even though I had a couple dresses that would have been fine, I felt I needed to do something to fit in. You see, it was only a handful of my months after my nervous breakdown, I was still having panic attacks and still not working. I was terrified someone in the family didn't know, or would ask, or would see me as not being a worthy partner to Isaac.
None of that was the case - I was met with unconditional love & kindness, as I always am with them. The issue was my own thoughts and my discomfort with myself. I was still struggling to see myself as worthy to even be alive. I didn't know or love myself enough to trust that being myself was enough, new dress or not. Now, I'm in another position where my response would usually be to go buy something new. I've gone from working at home most of the time to running pop ups and workshops, styling other people, and taking on more hours at the shop. Normally I would want things that make me look "professional" or like I know what I'm doing. Not wearing oversized, drop crotch jumpsuits to lead people, or my comfy pants to style a client. I would have made myself feel uncomfortable because I questioned whether or not I was worthy to do these things. Now? I am who I am, take it or leave it.