Mothers: This Is Why You Need to Find Your Personal Style


I am not a mother. I don’t know if I’ll ever be one.

But I do know what it’s like to have your life change so drastically you don’t recognize it. To have your body change so thoroughly, so quickly, that within a few months it no longer feels like yours. It feels alien, like someone else’s body. It slightly resembles the body you used to know, but when you look in the mirror everything is different. You are different. I understand what it’s like to have the life you’d been living change in ways you never would have imagined. To have something other than your needs, desires and goals drive and structure your every waking moment. I get it. I see you, and I understand what you’re going through, even if what triggered these seismic shifts is different. 

You Can't Give What You Don't Have

I had learned a lot of lessons through that change in my path. The most important one? That finding and reconnecting with the new you is essential - not just for your own life, but for everyone’s around you as well. You can’t pour from an empty cup; you cannot give what you don’t have. If you don’t have yourself, you are not showing up in the best way possible for yourself and your loved ones. You need to dedicate time to yourself, even if it starts out as only 1 minute a day. Even if the only moment you get for self connection is while you’re in the bathroom or as you’re closing your eyes to sleep. Those baby steps are what lead to traveling an entire journey - it’s just one step, then the next. One day, then the next. 

Start Simple

For me, those steps started out as simple as I could get - three deep breaths on the edge of my bed. Every morning, every day, no matter what I felt like or how busy I knew I was going to be. It was only 30 seconds, but I made a commitment to myself to show up each and every day. By doing so, I started to build trust - in myself and something bigger than me. Once I got comfortable taking 30 seconds to myself, I added on another 30, and another 30, and on and on and on. Eventually I learned that time taken to care for myself isn’t selfish. It’s in service of others, because as I show up for myself I’m in a better position to show up for everyone else. I said no to things I didn’t want to do so I could say yes to the things I loved. I was able to be more present, being a better partner, friend and daughter to the people I loved. Eventually, I started doing bigger things for myself. 

Dive Deeper - Into Your Closet, Into Yourself

The first place I started was dressing my body in only what I wanted, “should” be damned. I refused to wear anything I wasn’t comfortable in. I found things my body felt safe, beautiful and cared for. I used clothes to evaluate my values, connect with my intuition, and express who I really am. What I want is that feeling for you. For you to know who you are. To see yourself, your spirit, your purpose among all the change and turmoil going on in life. To know that you are doing the absolute best you can, for yourself and your loved ones. For you to love yourself because you actually know yourself. Because you are beautiful, inside and out, and you deserve to feel it.