Why Trying to be Perfect Destroys Your Body Image

One of the things that plays deeply into anxiety & body image issues is the fear of being imperfect or standing out. For most people, life is spent trying to appear "good enough" and to do so means to fit in. The idea of perfection is unrealistic & harmful. It destroys that spark of happiness & uniqueness that we are all born with. As Lisa from Adorn Infusions describes in her piece today, it starts young & has the ability to shape your life in ways you could never have imagined. As she says, it is time to re-ignite that spark & find peace in our own unique beauty.

Actively seeking perfection in any form is abuse. When I was young I had a birthmark on my right arm. It was oval, hairy and quite large in comparison to my small body. I hated it, I hated the way people would stare at it. I never wore tank tops. Finally one day I decided to have it removed. For no other reason then it made me stand out, it made me different. I was left with a massive scar that took forever to heal.

Shit. What if this birthmark was a sacred symbol of the illuminati or some tribe or star nation that used it to identify me as part of their tribe? How would they find me now? I had removed my tracker. I actually kind of miss that hairy mole and often wonder how my life would be different had I kept it.

Shame… one word that travels through time and space and cuts deep to the very soul. Shame… the word that keeps happiness in shackles and pain at the forefront.

As women we are shamed. We are shamed for being beautiful creatures. We shame ourselves. I have breasts but they are only for show if I am skinny and look great in a bikini. Heaven forbid that I dare to feed my baby in public, that’s disgusting, but if I bare them working at a sports bar, that’s hot. We are constantly being given mixed signals as to what is appropriate for us. I say, “Fuck appropriate” because I am taking back what is mine, my breasts, my body, my perfection. We have put up with shaming for too long.

As women we are constantly trying to alter our bodies to feel acceptance and to “fit” in. Our society likes to keep us all the same. As children we are herded like cattle to school to learn things that don’t really matter. We learn to compare, judge and berate ourselves for being unique. A unique mind is trouble; an empowered mind changes the world. We can’t have that. 

It’s no wonder that by the time we are teenagers over 60% of us have eating disorders or want to alter our physical appearance in some way. Women are now getting Botox as early as 20 years old and, for grad gifts, are asking for breast implants. Something is very wrong here. We are constantly seeking perfection to the point of obsession. We poison our food with round up just like we poison our bodies with injections so to make the outer reflect something that the inner never will.

There is not one beautiful, there are many. Fuck symmetrical, I want real. It is time to stand out. It is time to rise. It is time to be different. It is time we listen to our hearts, throw caution to the wind and be convicted as the Goddamn spiritual creators that we are. How all of these things play a role in our worthiness shows us the need for rehabilitation, on a global level. We have to start with ourselves and then help the young men and women of our time to chime in a new, empowered generation. Until then I will continue to mourn my perfect birthmark and all that it means for me in my own recovery from this broken system.

~Words by Lisa