Finding Flow Between Motherhood and Markets
I’ve learned (the hard way) to take the first few days after a market to rest, reset and reconnect—especially after having my little bebe. I love getting to do markets with her, watching her little kitty-ear buns bopping around the booths, her Dad chasing after her like Paris Hilton’s bodyguard. The way that no matter where she turns, there’s an Auntie thrilled to see her. Her little arms wrapped around my leg in a surprise hug when she tootles up behind me after a wander, handing me a card she made. Her little hand in mine, showing me all her favourite things she’s discovered. The stories on the drive home about the fun she had with her friends and Dad, the moments I didn’t get to see.
But it also takes a lot out of both of us. The skipped naps and late nights, her face crumpling when she wants me to explore with her, but I can’t because I’m working. The weekends and days leading up to market are filled with more work than play, and she gets sad about why I’m suddenly not as available.
Those moments break my heart. But they are far outweighed by the ones that light us both up.
In the past, I’ve found that if I don’t take a few days off right after, we both struggle. We’re exhausted and disconnected, I’m less resilient, often anxious, and we both usually get really sick. After Market Collective last weekend, we did something different.
I made sure we have at least one full day just for us during the week leading up to market—no phone, no plans, just connection. We did the same on the Monday after the market. For the next two days, we spent most of our time together, resetting the house, going for groceries, cleaning up the yard, and easing back into regular life. Her little nervous system takes a while to recalibrate, with sleep being wonky and a lot of big emotions, so having a few days with no set schedule gives us space to settle. There’s also a lot of hugs, so many laughs, and moments of awe just staring at her, wondering how I got so lucky.
I also took some time for myself in the evenings. Quiet time spent reading (I devoured this book in two days, and now am reading both this one and this one) and doing extra meditations and yoga classes with OPEN. I journaled about the wins and what I’d like to do differently next time. I took a few days before diving into the next project, being intentional about how I move forward. I used to feel guilty about pausing; there was an intense internal pressure to keep up the momentum from the weekend. But I’d always end up crashing and burning out. Taking the equivalent of a long weekend of rest and play is helping me move forward in an intentional, grounded way. Next market, I want to schedule some extra bodywork appointments afterwards, as I felt I could have used that this week.
It’s so beautiful to me that my daughter gets to grow up in such a magical environment, surrounded by creative, inspiring, strong folks. That she gets to see me creating and connecting, following my heart and chasing my dreams, but still knows she’s the most important thing in the world to me. It’s not the easiest path, but I love this life we’ve built, and it feels like we’ve found our flow. I’m heading into my next few projects feeling inspired from the weekend, rested and ready to go, my little buddy along for the ride.